Chakotay rolled out of bed the instant the red alert claxon blared. His feet hit the floor before he was even fully awake.

"Chakotay to Bridge. Report." He barked as he hurriedly pulled on his uniform.

"Tuvok here, Commander." Tuvok responded from the bridge, his voice sounding uncharacteristically tight. "Captain Janeway has been beamed off of the ship."

Chakotay froze. "To where? By whom?" he demanded.

"Unknown." Tuvok replied. "We are conducting a level 3 scan of the area. Internal sensors indicate that she was transported directly from her quarters 1.47 minutes ago."

"I’m on my way." Chakotay said, tersely, as he exited his quarters.

His mind was racing as he ran down the corridor. He tried to fight the feelings of dread and panic that threatened to overwhelm him. For an instant, he thought that he might be having a nightmare.

"Computer. Where is Captain Janeway?" he queried as he entered the turbolift.

"Captain Janeway is no longer on board Voyager" was the infuriatingly calm response.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Report!" Chakotay shouted, as the turbolift doors opened onto the bridge.

"We’ve located the Captain." Tuvok said, as he hurried to his station. " She was transported to the shuttlecraft Sacajawea, which had apparently been beamed from the shuttle bay several seconds earlier. We are unable to hail her; there seems to be a scattering field around the shuttle interfering with communications."

"Tractor the shuttle." Chakotay ordered.

"Unable to comply." Tuvok said, after a moment. "The scattering field is preventing…"

"Commander!" Ensign Kim interrupted from Ops. "I’m detecting a high concentration of tetryon particles! It’s directly in front of us."

‘What the hell?’ Chakotay thought. "Back us away, Paris." he said. "But keep us within transporter range of the shuttle."

"Acknowledged." Paris responded from the helm. After a few moment of manipulating the controls on his panel, he said, "We are holding position 2,000 kilometers from the particle concentration, still within transporter range of the shuttle."

"I am now receiving an intermittent signal from the shuttle." Tuvok reported.

"On screen." Chakotay turned towards the viewscreen. There was quite a bit of static, but he could just make out Kathryn in the pilot’s seat. Someone was with her, but he couldn’t tell who it was.

"…Suspiria…tetryon beam…send Voyager…phasers…" It was the Captain’s voice, but the message was incomplete.

"We’ve got to clear that up. Emergency power to communications." Chakotay was still struggling to stay calm. He couldn’t shake the foreboding feeling that something drastic was going to happen.

Torres had just arrived on the bridge. She and Ensign Kim worked for a few moments and the signal began to clear up.

The Captain looked tense. Beside her sat an emaciated young girl with scraggly blond hair. Chakotay recognized her now, it was Suspiria, the Caretaker’s mate, but she was obviously ill. The Caretaker had used a tetryon beam to bring them all to the Delta quadrant five years ago. They had last seen Suspiria about four years ago, and that encounter had not gone well. Suspiria had been convinced that Voyager and her crew had been responsible for Caretaker’s death. They were never certain whether or not they had convinced her otherwise.

"Commander." The Captain said, with a slight, tense smile.

"Captain, are you all right?" he asked.

"I’m fine," she replied, "but we don’t have much time. Suspiria is dying, but wishes to send Voyager back to the alpha quadrant first. She has built a device similar to the caretaker’s array, which is already generating the tetryon particles. Once a coherent beam has formed, you and I both need to fire phaser bursts at two different points on the device, in order to direct the beam to the alpha quadrant. I’m transmitting the coordinates to you now."

"Captain," Chakotay said, swallowing. "I don’t see how we’ll be able to get you back before we’re…"

"I have to stay, Chakotay" she said quietly. It’s the only way this will work."

"NO!" Chakotay shouted. "There is no way that we’re going to leave you behind."

"A coherent tetryon beam is beginning to form, now." Ensign Kim reported.

"Engines, full reverse." Chakotay ordered.

"Full reverse." Said Paris.

"Another beam is forming!" Ensign Kim said. "Aft of the shuttle."

Suspiria spoke for the first time. She sounded weak. "The second beam will return you to the Ocampan home-world," she addressed the Captain. I have an obligation to keep you safe, and I do not believe that you would be safe, alone in a shuttle, in this area of space."

"Kathryn! There has to be an alternative!" Chakotay said, desperately.

"I’ve not been given any options, Chakotay." She replied, sadly. "I’ll be all right. I need you to get our crew home safely. That’s all I want."

"If the simultaneous phaser bursts do not occur within 30 seconds, the tetryon beam will destroy both the ship and the shuttle. I will not be able to re-create this opportunity." Suspiria said, calmly.

"Kathryn," Chakotay pleaded, not caring that he had now called her by her name twice, on the bridge. "You’ll be alone!"

"Commander." The Captain said, switching to his title. "I am ordering you to fire a full phaser burst at the designated coordinates on my mark. Do I have to relieve you of duty?"

"The beam is moving towards us," reported Tuvok. "Impact in 20 seconds." As he spoke the ship began to shake.

Chakotay said, dully. "Lock phasers onto the designated coordinates and prepare to fire on the Captain’s mark."

"It’s been an honor serving with all of you," the Captain said quickly to the bridge crew. "I’ll be fine with the Ocampa. Please, be happy." Her eyes, filling with tears, locked onto Chakotay as she said the last sentence. She mouthed the word ‘Goodbye’ to him, alone.

Chakotay closed his eyes. He felt like his soul was being torn away from him. ‘Look at her!’ he thought to himself. ‘It’s your last chance to see her.’ He opened his eyes and slowly nodded his farewell, not trusting himself to speak.

"Fire in 5 seconds," she ordered Tuvok. "3…2…1…FIRE!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chakotay pulled himself up from the deck. Apparently, it had been a rough ride. Some of the bridge crew were slow getting to their feet. "Report." He ordered.

"Reports coming in from all decks now." Responded Ensign Kim. "Minor damage, minor injuries, nothing that we can’t…"

"Sir," Paris cut in, "We have successfully reached the alpha quadrant, but we are in the badlands, there are several plasma storms…"

"Evasive maneuvers." Chakotay said. "Just get us the hell out of here, Paris."

‘Of course’, thought Chakotay, distantly. ‘Suspiria would send us to our starting point.’

Lieutenant Tom Paris deftly maneuvered Voyager through the badlands. It was extremely impressive flying, but Chakotay barely noticed. He was trying to come to terms with what had happened. Voyager was home, but it seemed a hollow victory. Their ship had left its’ soul behind. And Voyager’s current commanding officer had lost his heart as well.

With a sense of irony, Chakotay remembered a recurring fantasy. When Voyager had at last returned to the alpha quadrant, he’d often imagined getting down on his knees on the bridge and asking Kathryn to marry him in front of everyone. She’d have been furious, but with command protocols at last behind them, he liked to think that she’d have said ‘yes’. He couldn’t comprehend that she was now a lifetime away.

He was numb, but realized that there was work to be done. The burden of command was his alone, now. He had to handle everything carefully – to ensure that Voyager’s homecoming would be worthy of all of the sacrifices that had been made: the years gone forever, the lives lost. The most monumental sacrifice of them all was the loss of Captain Kathryn Janeway, now 75,000 light years away.

As soon as they were clear of the badlands, Chakotay sent a message to Deep Space 9, the nearest starbase, apprising them of the situation and requesting permission to dock. Tuvok informed him that, at their current distance, it would be approximately one hour before they got a response.

"Open a shipwide channel." He told Ensign Kim. Harry nodded when the channel was open.

Chakotay swallowed hard, and began. "This is Commander Chakotay. The caretaker’s partner, Suspiria, has returned us to the alpha quadrant. We will reach Deep Space 9 in approximately 30 hours." He could almost hear the elation and joy on all decks. He hated what he had to do. "Unfortunately, it was necessary for Captain Janeway to remain behind. The ship was in jeopardy from the coherent tetryon beam that Suspiria created, and a decision had to be made quickly. Captain Janeway did what she had to do to ensure the safety and well being of her crew. Getting this crew home was always her primary goal, and now, she has accomplished that goal. Suspiria is bringing her to the Ocampan homeworld. In her final transmission, the Captain assured us that she would be fine, and she wished everyone happiness."

B’Elanna was sobbing quietly at her station, her tough Klingon façade forgotten. He could hear Harry crying as well. The import of what had just happened was beginning to sink in. Paris was rubbing his temple, his head bent, and Chakotay could see his shoulders shaking. Captain Kathryn Janeway had done so much for all of them.

"Kathryn Janeway brought us together." Chakotay continued. He was unable to stop his voice form shaking. "She made a union between two disparate crews work, and she made it work beautifully through sheer determination. At 1000 hours tomorrow, we will gather in holodeck one, where we will celebrate both the leadership of Captain Janeway, and our homecoming. Chakotay out."

"Commander, you have the bridge." He managed to say to Tuvok. There were things that needed to be done, of course. He should be officially transferring command to himself, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do that yet. He knew that he should stay on the bridge, that he should be trying to offer comfort and support, but frankly, he had none to give. He entered the turbolift without looking back. He couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes just yet.

Once in the lift, he sank slowly to the floor. He was shaking, and he ordered the lift to stop. He covered his face with his trembling hands. "Akoo-cheemoya, " he prayed, "What has happened?"

After a few minutes, he tried to regain some degree of composure. "I have to hold on a little longer," he said to himself. "I have to do this right, for her." He ordered the lift to resume.

He signaled Neelix and asked him to coordinate the plans for the gathering. He managed to suggest that Neelix get Paris and B’Elanna to assist as well; they were the holographic experts on-board, and it would help them to be involved in the preparations.

The lift deposited him on deck three. He walked straight to the Captain’s quarters, overrode the lock, entered and locked the door again behind him. He sagged against the bulkhead, but now that he was free to mourn, he just felt numb.

It had been less than twenty minutes since the red alert had been sounded. The whole situation still had a surreal quality to it. He tried to comprehend what had happened. They were home, but she was gone.

He glanced around the room. He could feel her presence in here. He half expected her to come around the corner. There was a half-empty cup of coffee cooling on the table and, of course, a stack of padds. He’d handed her those padds at the end of their shift last night, admonishing her not to read them until the morning. He almost smiled, God, she was stubborn.

He felt completely disconnected from the events of the last twenty minutes. It seemed like he was watching everything unfold on a holodeck. He wandered aimlessly around, touching her possessions. He did smile when his eyes fell on her medicine bundle. In the first few months of their journey together, he’d introduced her to her spirit guide. In order to save enough replicator rations for an Akunah, she’d had to sacrifice her coffee for ‘TWO WEEKS, Chakotay, TWO WEEKS!’ she’d told him.

He walked into her sleeping alcove. He’d never been there, of course, as much as he’d wanted to. He stopped and looked in shock at what was hanging on her wall. It was a charcoal sketch of him. He’d modeled for her only weeks before, but hadn’t asked her what she’d done with the finished work. That did it, he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. She was gone.

He sank to his knees, moaning her name. He curled into a fetal position on her floor, his loss a palpable presence there with him. He was never going to see her again. She was lost to him forever. They would never be united now, and he knew that they would have been, someday. He knew that she had known as well; it would have been inevitable. But not now. She was gone. He lay there, sobbing, until he fell into a sleeplike stupor. He remained there until Tuvok hailed him from the bridge to inform him that they had gotten a response from Captain Sisko.

End of Chapter One.

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