monkee reviews 'A Night in Sickbay'
First Impressions: Archer's behavior is questionable, but the episode is well worth watching for the sickbay shenanigans alone!
Cranky Captain: It's time for me to bring up something that I've been too nice to mention up until now. I'm not quite sold on Bakula's Archer. It's the way he delivers the lines – he ALWAYS sounds angry! It's like he's gotten stuck on the chip-on-the-shoulder aspect of the character from the premier. It's starting to bug me. In this episode, when he's supposed to be angry, it's almost too much. Heck – watching him was putting ME in a bad mood! In a sense, I suppose, it shows that he's only human – after all, everyone has days when they're just wound up tight, whether it's due to sexual tension, or just a bad mood. But this was just over the top.
All Apologies: So it's a good thing that before the end of the episode, he apologizes to just about everyone, sometimes in body paint, with beads in his hair! Apologizing is difficult, really, and he did it sincerely and well, so I'll give him some credit for that.
Sickbay is a Happening Place! May whatever God we believe in have mercy on our souls! We got to see Phlox's TOENAILS! When Archer spends the night in sickbay near his sick pup, he learns more about Denobulans than he probably ever wanted to. Amazing, the things Phlox is up to when no one is around. Apparently his gnarly green toenails grow quite quickly, and need to be trimmed regularly. And really, I think the less said about the tongue scraping, the better. And, of course, the various animals that also inhabit the place get in on the action, too...
The Great Bat Hunt: In the middle of the night, Phlox's bat escapes. "No matter what I do to secure her cage," Phlox laments, "she always manages to escape!" Well, no sh*t! Maybe if he wasn't constantly opening the thing to deposit nail clipping and tongue fluids inside...Anyway, Phlox and Archer must stalk and capture the wayward creature. This is the funniest sequence since the teaser to VOY's 'Tinker, Tenor!' The episode is worth a rating of 9 for this scene alone! I laughed until my sides ached!
The Phlox Family: Of course, Archer learns more about Phlox than just his personal hygiene quirks. We also find out that he holds numerous degrees in all sorts of things, including, unfortunately for Archer, psychiatry, and fortunately for Porthos, endospecies veterinary medicine. He has five children and three wives, each of whom have three husbands, and there are a total of thirty-one people in his extended family. "You asked me if I miss them. The answer is yes, every one of them – the children, the wives, even the other husbands," he tells Archer. "But we Denobulans live a long time, Captain, and for right now there's nowhere I'd rather be than serving with the Interspecies Medical Exchange about this wonderful vessel of yours." Awww...
And hey, we got to see Phlox's cool CGI 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' smile again! Hee!
Sexual Tension: I'm no psychiatrist, but it seemed a bit presumptuous of Phlox to attribute Archer's anger to his unresolved sexual attraction to T'Pol, especially when his observations were completely unsolicited. He turned out to be right, though, and had some solid advice to offer. Don't ignore it, don't discuss it, just be aware of it. Very wise. And maybe it means we won't be subjected to it again anytime soon. Let's hope so!
Funeral for a Friend: In a surreal, amusing, and well-done dream sequence, we get to see poor Porthos' funeral. Phlox, as a priest, presides, and gives an absolutely hilarious eulogy, which turns into gravely intoned advice regarding sexual tension. Loved the umbrellas, the rain, and the somber crewmembers. Could have lived without the subsequent dream scene in the decontamination chamber with a mostly naked T'Pol and Archer kissing hotly. Trek just can't manage romance or sex with any finesse whatsoever. And any kind of implied romantic/sexual affiliation between these two characters just feels wrong to me, maybe because I much prefer their developing tentative friendship.
Sexy Subcommander: Maybe I read it wrong, but I thought it was implied in T'Pol's ending speech that the attraction was mutual. I just don't buy that! She's a Vulcan, for crying out loud! What could she possibly see in him? She thinks Humans are reckless, basically inferior, and smelly to boot! I'm trying to reconcile T'Pol with everything I know about Vulcans, but it's getting more and more difficult. Okay, maybe if she's comfortable slinking around the ship in a body suit, and wearing next to nothing in her quarters, than it's logical for her to do so, but the smoldering looks have just got to go.
Hoshi ROCKS! But let's move on. Hoshi did well this week. Near as I could tell, she was basically in command for most of the episode, and she handled the Kreetassins with far more diplomacy than Archer could muster. And she takes things in stride. Upon entering sickbay, she's faced with two maniacal men shouting and brandishing nets, and she calmly reaches up to gently pluck the bat out of midair! "Are you okay? What are they trying to do to you?" she says, soothingly. Hee!
Porthos Pathos: That dog just melts my heart every time I see him, and that's saying something, because I am a cat person to the core. How adorable is that dog? And how SAD was it when he was sick and whimpering? And how about the little, empty doggie bed? *sniff* I can see why Archer is so attached to the little guy. Nice Porthos backstory, too – of course there were four boys in the litter. All for one and one for all! I'm sure glad he didn't die. Of course they couldn't possibly kill him off – he's probably the show's most popular character!
Anal Aliens: This is Starfleet, and anal aliens are just a part of the job. All of the Captains have had to deal with them at some point, I guess, but wouldn't you think species advanced enough to be in the interstellar community would exhibit more tolerance? And if the Kreetassins are accustomed to receiving visitors, why do they assume that everyone knows their preferences and rules? Still, T'Pol was right – they really did have a legitimate gripe. After all, Porthos peed on their sacred trees! Hee. Where no dog has gone before, indeed.
Character Interactions: Once again, ENT isolates two characters so we can get a chance to see the dynamics between them. I enjoyed all of Archer and Phlox's scenes – the humorous, the cranky and the apologetic. I also enjoyed the subtlety of T'Pol and Hoshi's interactions. They exchanged several glances while dealing with angry Archer that were amusing, sort of a cross between sympathy and exasperation. And, of course, there's no need to ignore the Archer/Porthos scenes. They're awfully sweet together. I loved it when Archer reached into the isolation tank with the gloves, and Porthos put his paw on top. Awwwwww!
'Shipper Watch: I'm all for 'ships and sex in Star Trek, but I think I'd prefer they were done with a little more class and restraint, at least this early in the game. And, as I said, Archer/T'Pol just doesn't do much for me. Hopefully, they've acknowledged a slight attraction, done the tacky decon rubdown in a dream sequence, and that'll be the end of it. A Captain and a First Officer really shouldn't be romantically involved, unless they're in the Delta Quadrant, a lifetime away from home. <g>
I did enjoy some of their scenes, though. The back and forth treadmill challenge was a riot, and I thought Archer looked particularly handsome and charming when he was teasing her with his 'practice' apology.
Archer Watch: T'Pol nailed it in one. Archer should NOT have brought his dog along on a sensitive diplomatic mission. It was a lousy and unprofessional decision even if the Kreetassins had given tacit permission (although it seemed closer to ignorance/indifference, and it's Archer's job to know the difference). And sure, everyone can have a bad day, but people reach positions of authority by proving that they can rise above their bad moods, and be level-headed most of the time. All in all, it was a bad outing for Archer, but at least he proved that he is big enough to apologize when he needs to.
And, on a shallower note, he sure looked great in his civvies! And I suppose he looked attractive in the decon chamber, too, although my eyes were rolling too vigorously to get a good look...
Best Lines:
"Woof!" (Porthos, to Archer, in the decon chamber. Translation – 'Don't LEAVE me here!')
"If anything happens to Porthos, I'll be the one watering their alveera trees!" (Archer, to T'Pol)
"Is he comfortable?" "He's fast asleep." "Well, I'm glad someone is." (Archer, Phlox, and Archer)
"Sorry!" "For what?" "Just practicing!" (Archer, T'Pol, and Archer)
"You are once again ignoring the consequences of your actions." (T'Pol, to Archer, and he ought to make it his mantra!)
"I obviously can't keep up with you." (T'Pol, wryly, to Archer on the treadmills)
"T'Pol seems to think I care more about my dog than my ship – isn't THAT delightful?" (Archer, to Phlox)
"Uh-uh. No way. Not a chance. PORTHOS is the only patient you're treating right now – you got that?" (Archer, to prying Phlox)
"It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm hunting an escaped bat. THAT'S all I'm thinking about right now!" (Archer, to Phlox)
"Hey, are you all right? What are they trying to do to you?" (Hoshi, to the beleaguered bat)
"We are gathered here today to bid a fond farewell to a faithful and kind colleague – a friend who would never hesitate to offer his paw in exchange for a simple smile, or a slice of cheese." (Dream Phlox, to the mourners)
"Sorry. I'm a little on edge. I haven't slept much, but I'm doing the breast...the BEST I can." (Archer, to T'Pol)
"You're going to drown my dog?" "Only for an hour, Captain." (Archer and Phlox)
"Perhaps I'm insensitive to the bond between you and your...subservient quadruped." (Phlox, to Archer)
"Since I've been getting so much practice giving apologies, I thought I'd give you one." (Archer, to T'Pol)
"Come on, boy. We're going home!" (Archer, to his beagle, his pal!)
Rating: 9/10. For the great bat hunt, and maybe a few other odds and ends. Archer gets a 5, though.
Next Week: Shockwave II again? It's too early for repeats!
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