monkee reviews 'Two Days and Two Nights'
First Impression: Nice idea, but falls short.
Seinfeld in Space: A Star Trek episode about...well, not much of anything, really. The Enterprise crew draws lots for the privilege of taking shore leave (two days and two nights, obviously) on Risa. Amazingly enough <g>, most of the senior staff gets to go, and this episode is about their planet-side adventures. You know, I really like this concept. In fact, I wish they'd do an episode like this once every season just get the characters off individually, or in small groups, and show us a day-in-the-life. It's wonderful for character development, or at least it ought to be. It didn't work as well as it should have here, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to see them try it again sometime.
There were four stories going. Let's look at them one by one...
(We are) Two Wild and C-razy Guys: Let's start with the one I liked the least, Trip and Reed. The two oh-so-studly and heterosexual buddies head off to Risa's hottest nightclubs, dressed to the nines and looking for action. There, they leer at women and start drinking more than their share of Risan drinks with little umbrellas. (I'm lying about the umbrellas, I think, but you get the idea...) Eventually, they land two gorgeous babes, who hang onto their every lie (they both claim to be captain), and suggest a stroll in Risa's 'subterranean gardens.' Our boys follow them into a dark basement, where the women promptly morph back into their true (bizarre-looking alien male) forms, stun them, and take their valuables, including their clothes.
Sigh. I don't know. I must be turning into an old prude, or something. I just didn't enjoy this at all. Trip and Reed were acting like jerks, quite frankly, and my opinion of both of them slipped down a notch this week. Are these our son's role models? Maybe I'm taking it all too seriously, but I don't remember ever seeing such adolescent behavior in any adult Trek character before. Very disappointing. I was happy when they got mugged. They deserved it for being so lewd, and so damned gullible!
There are only two good things I can think of to say about this story line. First, there was some nice continuity in their drunken ramblings, with the events of both 'Shuttlepod One' and 'Acquisition' mentioned again. Secondly, the two actors really do work well together, even with material as silly as this. I have to admit that I enjoyed seeing them skulk out of the club in their underwear...
Rock Climbing and Hibernation: Mayweather opts to go rock-climbing at a place where the cliff-face changes pitch every so often. It turns out to be about as dangerous as it sounds - he falls and breaks his leg. He winds up in a Risan hospital, where they've never treated a human before. Alarmed, he returns to the ship to find that a) he's having an allergic reaction to the medication the hospital gave him for pain, and b) Doctor Phlox has gone into his annual hibernation. Ensign Cutler, acting as medic, does her best, but in the end, the decision is made to awaken Phlox.
That's when we learn that it's not a good idea to wake up a Denobulan before his hibernation cycle is complete. Phlox is disoriented, clumsy, and seems to be reverting back to his childhood. When they can get him to focus, he's still capable of doing his job, but a lot of slapstick humor is involved. This mostly didn't do much for me, but I'll admit that Billingsley was fun to watch it looked like he was having a blast with the broad humor. And T'Pol and Cutler made great straight men. Women. Whatever.
A Man and His Dog: Porthos finally gets his walk on the beach! Archer and the fearless space pup book an oceanfront villa. By remarkable coincidence, there's a beautiful woman with a dog right next door. Archer and Keyla meet when their dogs get into a snarling match. (Hey, don't blame Porthos. That was one weird looking little dog. I'd be a little alarmed if it popped up on my porch, too!) Keyla seems very interested in Archer, but is reluctant to tell him anything about herself. She finally reveals that her family was killed by the Suliban. She then demands to know everything he knows about them. She sounds almost exactly like Colonel Grat did in 'Detained,' and he becomes suspicious and secretly scans her. Sure enough, she's a Tandaran. When he confronts her about it, she drugs him and flees.
I liked this story-line a) because Porthos got lots of screen time and b) Archer was right on top of things, for once. His command instincts must be kicking in. There was continuity in the re-appearance of the Tandarans, and since the mystery of Keyla remains unsolved, I think it's likely that we'll see her again.
Kiwi Kisses: Reed and Trip make fun of Hoshi on the shuttle because all she wants to do on Risa is learn a few new languages, so I found it gratifying when she ended up having the best time out of all of them. Maybe Trip and Reed shouldn't try so hard next time. She wasn't even looking for romance, but it found her anyway. Ravis was a nice guy, and he stimulated her linguistically as well as...um, conjugally (hee). It seemed like a very mature encounter, too, with no overwrought professions of undying love.
I'm enjoying the use of alien languages on Enterprise, and I'm impressed by Parks and the other guest stars that speak them so convincingly. It makes the show seem more realistic.
And for the record, Hoshi is now, officially, the first Enterprise crewmember to have sex. Unless you count Trip's box of pebbles <g> in 'Unexpected.'
Two Moons: I love it when there are two moons! And they were even celebrating a 'Festival of the Moons,' too! Risa was really lovely. I'd spend two days and two nights there in a heartbeat! When can I go?
Shallow Observation: Yes, Trip and Reed looked as good as ever in their underwear, but YOWZA did you see Mayweather in that skin-tight climbing outfit? I vote for a 'Mayweather saves Enterprise in his underwear' episode next season :) Who's with me? Oh, and Hoshi looked gorgeous with her hair down, too. Seriously, it's really nice to see the crew in civilian clothes.
Semi-Regulars: Both Cutler and Rostov appear again, and even have dialog! I hope to see more of them next year.
'Shipper Watch: Cutler actually groaned and rolled her eyes when Phlox misinterpreted her and T'Pol's offer to escort him back to bed, so perhaps she's lost interest. Understandable, now that she's gotten a good look at Denobulan feet ;) Trip promised to bring T'Pol a souvenir, but clearly he was too busy being a jerk to find time for that. Maybe she can have those hotel flip-flops...There was a lot of Archer/T'Pol innuendo this week. First, Keyla assumed that Archer was involved with the science officer he kept talking about. Then T'Pol left a copy of 'The Teachings of Surak' in his room, along with a hand-written note. 'To help you relax,' indeed! If that's not a Vulcan come on, I don't know what is! Ah, well even if it wasn't, it was still nice. I liked their scene in the teaser, too, and the way she encouraged him to go, despite his misgivings. "Captain, you NEED a vacation," she told him. Porthos clearly agreed. They should double-team him more often. What man can resist the combination of cool logic and puppy dog eyes?
Archer Watch: As I mentioned above, I thought he was great this week. I feel sorry for the poor guy, though he can't even go on vacation without getting a dose of Suliban intrigue! I also liked seeing his paternal side, as he cautioned his young charges to 'be careful' on shore leave.
Best Lines:
"Crewman Cutler is a capable medic." "Yeah, I know where all the bandages are." (Phlox and Cutler, to T'Pol)
"Get off my porch, you creepy little thing. Go on! Get out of here!" (Porthos, to alien pooch)
"The Vulcan database said no one leaves this club unhappy." "Well, how would the Vulcans know?" (Trip and Reed)
"Earth? Never heard of it." (Buxom Risan babe)
"Aaaaahhhh!" (Trip and Reed, when their female companions morph into their true forms)
"YOU were willing to follow two strange aliens into a basement!" "Gorgeous aliens! Dont forget they were gorgeous!" "They were MALE!" "Not at first!" (Trip and Reed)
"As a matter of fact, I learned several new...conjugations." (Hoshi, to Trip and Reed)
THE Best Line:
"Get into this lift before I knock you on your butt!" (Porthos, to Archer) (He said it with his eyes!)
Rating: 8/10. Pleasant enough, except for the Trip-Reed story, but nothing exceptional.
Next Week: The season-ending cliffhanger, and the late Crewman Daniels returns! Then, a summer of repeats :(
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